## Outcomes -V- Daily meaningful activities using skills you already have gets you into flow. -V- Flow frequently brings **outcomes**: - emotional outcomes (makes us happy) - material outcomes (fruits of our labour) --- Outcomes keep us going. -V- ### But sometimes... we get derailed by bad mood - by negative events or emotions around us - due to our own failing - by recalling a negative past and lose our flow. -V- Negativity captures our attention more than positivity. -V- #### So we stay down due to the negative feedback loop: Negativity and pessimism reinforce themselves. -V- We need **emotional stability** to keep us going. --- ### Hamster in a box

-V- ### Hamster in a box - when put in a box with a lid, it will try to jump out - and after a day or two it will give up and never try again - even once the lid is removed -V- -V- #### Baby Elephant Syndrome -V- Young elephant gets tied to a tree by a thin rope which it can't break. As an adult, it is constrained by the same thin rope and it doesn't break free. Because it learned it is no use to even try. -V- #### Learned helplessness [Martin Seligman] --- #### Hamster Procrastination Cycle 1. Do nothing 2. Have regrets 3. Doubt yourself 4. Feel helpless 5. GOTO 1 --- #### How to break out? --- ### Time Perspectives [Philip Zimbardo] - positive past - negative past - present - future -V- Focusing on - ~~positive past~~ - **negative past** - **present** - ~~future~~ results in a hamster, depressions. -V- Refocusing on - **positive past** - ~~negative past~~ - ~~present~~ - **future** breaks out of the hamster. --- #### Positive Cycle of Flow 1. Do meaningful actions 2. Feel good 3. Growing skills 4. Believe in yourself 5. GOTO 1 --- #### How to orient yourself towards the future? Personal Vision --- #### How to perceive your past positively? Choice of attitude --- We are free to choose our reaction to events. [Viktor Frankl] -V- We choose **how we interpret** our past. --- ### TOOL: Choice of attitude (originally named *Inner-game*; not related to Timothy Gallwey's work) -V- Interpreting seemingly *negative events* as **neutral** or even **positive**. -V- Event → 😟/😐/😀

#### Default: Failure → 😟

#### Choice: Failure → 😐/😀

Micro-habit that can be trained. -V- ### My switched attitudes 1. Calming down my expectation of perfect social interactions - "This went well, we both enjoyed the chat." 2. Burying past failures - "At least I learned to do something new!" --- ### TOOL: Three Good Things [Martin Seligman] (Learned Optimism) -V- At the end of every day, think about 3 things that went well for you. -V- #### Why? Increases positive emotions, hope and optimism. Strengthens your focus on positive past. -V- ### My Good Things? Done daily during dinner as a family. Today, I liked that... 1. I had a chat with my coworkers over coffee 2. I resolved one bug 3. I finally gave my talk on procrastination!